Thursday, September 18, 2008

Breaking Hearts

We have two cats, Giggles and Pixar, a mother and son duo that we adopted 3 years ago. Giggles is the mom and is the most gentle and loving cat I have ever met. She was named Giggles because at the time each of my kids were allowed to name one. MY son named one Pixar, after the cartoon studio which produced so many of his favorite movies (not bad for 2 1/2 years old) and my daughter could only say one thing at the time "Giggle Giggle". And so, Giggles was named.

Over the past few weeks she had been losing some weight but we chalked it up to a change in food etc. She still seemed healthy in that she was alert and purring, clear eyed, and social. Finally we took her to the vet yesterday to see if they could help her put some weight back on. Honestly I was expecting maybe some meds, a high calorie food something simple. That is not what turned out to be the case.

After a sad diagnosis I was faced with the choice of experimental surgeries costing over 1500$ which would not necessarily rectify the problem, bringing her home and allowing her to die-painfully, or euthanizing her. I am there sobbing, trying to make these decisions which are out of the blue, with my two babies there. I am trying to shelter them from the conversations and a kind nurse tootk them to the waiting room. I wrestled with what to tell the kids--do I lie?

I finally took them to the car, and explained somberly that Giggles was very ill and she would be going to heaven. The kids were beyond surprised and the emotion that came from them was heartbreaking. I asked them if they would like to go inside and say goodbye to her before she went to heaven, they ran inside sobbing.

Once in the room with Giggles the raw expression of saddness broke my heart. Michael asked her not to forget him so they could find each other when he went to heaven. He told her how much he loved her and that she was the best cat in the world. He held her as he said a prayer to God telling Him she was coming and she would be his pet now and to take good care of her.

Even now as I type this my eyes are welling with tears for the heartbreak they suffered yeasterday and pain they experienced. I dont even care about the B.S. people are saying about it being a good lesson blah blah kids experienced pain yesterday which was the worst in their young lives and it was even more painful to watch helplessly.

We are in healing mode today. We will be making a headstone, as suggested by Michael. He wants to then pick some nice sunflowers from the yard to lay at the stone. I will continue to try to bandage their hearts today knowing full well that this is a scar that will remain and all I can do is help it heal over as best I can.


Amanda on February 26, 2009 at 9:56 AM said...

((hugs) I am so sorry! I know how hard it is to lose beloved pets.

Megan on February 28, 2009 at 3:16 AM said...

I am sorry for your loss.

Shannon and Alex on March 3, 2009 at 7:11 PM said...

Losing pets is the worst. In the last two weeks, our beloved horse Lisa died of old age and last week our 2 year old Dacshund Cherish was run over by a cement truck. I feel your sadness and loss. Sending hugs from Kentucky.

Keeley on March 4, 2009 at 6:06 PM said...

Oh, your post made me sob. My heart aches for you and your little ones. May God bless you as you heal.

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