Cage Free Monkeys

Facebook

Last night, sitting in front of my computer, eyes squinting fighting back sleep, the curser is flashing “Jenafer is ...” I start to type “going to take a shower” and suddenly I stop, “What the hell am I doing?” Why am I telling you I am going to take a shower and why should you care? Would I tell my neighbors? Well maybe, but not people who live up the street that I have a casual relationship with at best. But still here I am providing “Status Updates” on Facebook about my random activities and thoughts.

Here’s the creepy thing: If I found you or anyone else peering in my family room window taking notes “Jenafer is watching TV eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s”, quite frankly I call the cops, get a restraining order and hang up better window coverings. I DEFINATLY wouldn’t provide the creepy person outside my window any further information or tell him “Come back later and see what I am doing then…”

Now my kids, they are just plain nosy as most kids are. One of their favorite activities is reporting what they deem to be ‘important’ information to me about our neighbors. It usually takes place near a window, which is foggy with steam from the close proximity of my kids face to the glass and sounds something like this: “Mom…Mom...Jason just got home from work.” “Mom, Matt is barbequing”, “Mom Chris is in her garage and I think she is going to get the mail”, “Mom there is someone at Tracey’s house”. I usually then go into my standard speech about privacy, not spying on people, you know, the stand issue Mom type speech. And then I walk away, sit at my computer and read about what all of you are doing in your homes….
I often imagine putting a large sign on my front lawn in front of my house “Jenafer is doing laundry”, “Jenafer is tired”. What would my neighbors think? I’m pretty sure I’d start being referred to as the ‘crazy lady in the blue house’. But then, how many of those critics would then go on to Facebook to see what other people are doing?

The biggest problem is it’s addictive. You start wondering about these people, usually people you haven’t seen in like forever but you know what they had for dinner or that they have puked 3 times in the last hour. You wonder if their stomach has settled, or just what their significant other did last night to piss them off so bad.

So I have decided that the multimillionaire behind Facebook is really just a big voyeur or an overactive peeping Tom. Not only did he want to know what we were doing but somehow he convinced us covertly to tell him and update him constantly. SO I guess, really we are all voyeurs. We all post, and we all read; for some reason we all want to know what we are all doing. And as the up to the minute status reports weren’t enough…most of us further complied with providing an additional 25 Random Things About Ourselves for no additional charge.
So here is my post and update for today; “Jenafer is raising her glass to toast the Evil Genius Behind Facebook and his ability to bring out my inner voyeur.” If you find me peering in your windows, it must mean my internet is out.