Cage Free Monkeys

Black Friday FAIL

For anyone looking to have a good laugh, may I offer up my own stupidity to brighten your day.

It was Black Friday-- 4:35 am when I dragged my tired and still shingles ridden self out of bed for my annual adventure among the other Black Friday psychos shoppers. It was 34 degrees, a steady rain mixed with ice and I deluded myself as I drove to Target that I would be one of the early people in line, especially due to the weather. After all, this is Syracuse not downstate or Long Island where all of my previous Black Fridays have taken place.

It really shouldn't have been so shocking when I approached the Target parking lot to see that the line didn't extend to the end of the building but that it in fact wrapped around the back which is where I took my place at 4:45-- without an umbrella. That should have been my tip off that my morning wasn't really going to go as planned.

So soaking wet and cold I entered the building grabbed my cart and weaved through the madness to get to the toy department. Chaos ensued but I remained somewhat cheery and got my special sale items and made my way to the back of the store (not the front) to enter a check out lane. Ok, still not so bad. I am a trooper. I am a Black Friday hard core veteran- I can handle an hour long wait to check out. I grab a Pepsi off the shelf and begin to drink it as I wait and wait and wait.

Finally at 6:30 I am next in line for check out. I load my door buster specials onto the belt. Take another swig of Pepsi, and reach in my purse for my wallet. Then I reach in again....and again. My purse is so overloaded with crap I can't seem to get my hands to settle on my wallet. Huh. Maybe I should pull some junk out. Maybe I should hold it up to the light.

The woman in front of me is almost done with her checkout. I keep reaching for my wallet laughing how I can't seem to grab it--almost like it ISN"T in there. Almost like it fell out of my purse when I threw it in the car this morning and it toppled off the seat. Huh....funny..... my heart starts to race....

I finally must concede that it is NOT in fact in there, as I pull out 2 loose dollar bills. The cashier greets me and reaches to ring my items and I start to turn bright red. I hear the words escape my lips and think this really can't be happening "Um, can you just ring up this Pepsi? I don't have my wallet." My hand offers my 2 crumpled dollar bills. She thinks I am kidding and then suddenly realizes that I am so not kidding. I start laughing -- possibly a prelude to the fact that I am about to have a nervous break down due to the fact that I woke up at 4:30, stood in the rain, and waited for 2 hours to buy -- A Pepsi. Here it is, the epic Black Friday fail.

Now if the story ended here, I'd be blogging from a padded room somewhere, rocking back and forth, and talking to myself. But thankfully the cashier took pity on me, perhaps in an effort to save her own life, and told me to go out to my car and find my wallet and come right back to her. I ran probably 1/2 a mile to find my car in the darkness and there was mister wallet sitting right on the floor. I approached the cashier completely expecting the person in line who I was now essentially cutting to kill me, and quite frankly had I been on Long Island that may have happened; but not here. She smiled and said "Oh go ahead dear-- what a crazy morning." Seriously? This woman and the cashier are pretty much responsible for whatever sanity I have left after this fail of mine.

On today's to-do list? Buy a purse that zippers shut.

The Car Accident

This weekend I found out that my best friends are getting a divorce. And the only way I can explain the situation is to liken it to watching a car accident.

I am joining the scene at the point when the driver can do no more. The momentum of the accident is in motion. All the chances for steering out of it, applying the brake, and downshifting are gone. The car is now in its own motion and all I can do is sit and hold my breath as I wait for it to go through the stages it will travel through-loss of control, impact, and then coming to rest.
I can only wait until the damage is done and then go to help the passengers pull themselves out of the wreckage and evaluate their injuries.

But I am resisting every urge I have to be the backseat driver and scream at the top of my lungs all of my suggestions to help avoid it-- despite the fact that the car is hydroplaning and at this point no amount of defensive driving will get those tires back on the ground in time to avoid the impending collision. And I'm thinking of the little boy who is asleep in the backseat with no knowledge of what is about to happen.

So its here that I wait on the side of the road. I am waiting for the crash, the smoke, the sound of crumpled steel. I wait for the bodies, broken and torn to emerge. I want to close my eyes but can't. I am standing there with my first aid kit....waiting....hoping it won't be as bad as I know it will be.

SO since I can't do anything, I will check on my own car today. I will check to see that I haven't missed any signs of danger in the road ahead, see if there is anything needing my attention, be sure my eyes are open and I am not missing anything that could cause a problem down the road. In other words, I'm calling my husband who is away on business this week and reminding him how much I love him.

Jumping Into the World of Blog Design and A Giveaway!

I am jumping into the world of blog design. I hope to make others have the same bloggy-happiness I have.

I will be starting a list of interested people and offer both custom designs and modified designs.

I am starting off offering designs that are not OOAK, however they have the personalization of photo(s) in the header etc. for only $25. The price includes installation as well.

Got a sample for me to see?

Sure...here's Terri's blog I just did


Other one-of-a-kind designs will start at $75

How'd ya get on the list?
Either email me at jenaferlm [at] hotmail.com or leave a comment here with your current blog and email address.

What about the giveaway?
I will select one person from the list randomly, to receive a free design as stated above. Selection will be made on Monday Nov. 8th at 8 am.

Good luck!

Featured on Tip Junkie

I L-O-V-E Tip Junkie so you can imagine my utter delight when I found out this morning I was featured on Tip Junkie with my frugal wine-rack turned towel-holder hack!

View the feature here.

Life is Worth Living

When people ask me what led us to leave the "exciting" life of the NYC area to come live in Syracuse I try to explain that life down there is not just "exciting" but it is unbelievably stressful. It is a rat race--an endless quest to find the cheese in a myriad of mazes often lined with traffic stretching for miles. The focus there is quantity- not quality. Its a different world.

We used to live near the Tappan Zee bridge which would be closed down frequently--way too frequently--because people, regular people, couldn't handle it and they would jump from the bridge. Most people would forget about the problems that led the jumper to this decision and instead focus on the traffic snarl it would cause.


The officials thought that maybe this sign that Life Is Worth Living, would possibly save the commuters further traffic problems and prevent future bridge closures.

To me, every time I see this sign, it reminds me of why we moved.
Why we chose quality over quantity.

UPDATED: Sadly, not more than 8 hours after these pictures were taken on the Tappan Zee Bridge, another person jumped into the water.

Thursday Things: What Im Loving Right Now

My morning couldn't be more perfect with these three things today.
The candle scents the air with the absolute smell of fall, my coffee warms the chill, and the fresh baked banana chocolate chip and flax seed muffins are just fantastic. They are my favorite things today.
What are yours?

Out of My Comfort Zone

If I could draw my theoretical "comfort zone" as a circle on the ground-- I'd be standing atleast 15 feet away from it as I write this post.

I can do a lot of things, and don't have much reserve, restraint, or fear when it comes to some things. I mean I started a not-for-profit corporation this past year with no knowledge of how to do it! TV interviews in my home with little warning--no problem! Come on...I can tackle almost anything with an I-Can-Do-It attitude followed quickly by the I-Will-Do-An-Awesome-Job mantra.

So WHY-- has my latest venture turning me into a cold-footed, stomach-aching-bordering-on-nausea, quick-where's-the-Xanax kinda' girl?

I decided after a good deal of procrastination to start Karate. I will not start anything without knowing full well I will finish it meaning I am committed to getting a Black Belt. ( And at this point-- I don't even HAVE a belt! My son ranks higher than me!)

I finally went for my first one-on-one lesson and did well (I Guess-- that's what they told me)....but talk about UNCOMFORTABLE! I don't know what it is...the mirrors? the other people watching my uncoordinated self trying to look all stealth? the need to say "Hi--ya!", I could list more and more but you get the idea.

So here it is Monday morning which means I have my first official group class tonight-- a good 10 hours from now. However, my stomach is queasy and I'd love to come up with a really believable reason that I can't go tonight. Kind of like I do with dentist appointments.

I think I would actually rather a root canal....but quitting: not an option. A self imposed limitation that may drive me to drink.

Perspective

Perspective is always a good thing to think of. Lately, I have been almost overly positive, if thats possible. I haven't seen the negative or ugly even when it is apparent to everyone else. Instead, I have been fixated on the positive and the beauty. Maybe its beacuse I have been carrying my camera around a lot lately that it has forced me to examine things in a new light. Maybe its because of Emily and her Tuesdays.

Frugal Fix: Repurposed Wine Rack Towel Holder

Starting Friday, we will be hosting a Mister Linky for you all to share your Frugal Fixes. So go take a picture of your cheep and easy to replicate Friday Frugal Fix. Looking forward to many new ideas!

Product Review: Pocket Doodles For Kids

A Whole Lot Happened in A Few Days

Greetings! I dont even know where to begin with all the cool stuff that has happened around here!
As you can see the blog has undergone a major redesign. I feel like I spent the day in the spa getting a whole makeover! I couldn't be more excited! I have been shopping around for web designers to make my blog "me". Well, I think Traci at Sweet Cheeky Designs either stalks me secretly or is my twin seperated at birth becuase she "got me" right away! The result of our collaboration exceeds my wildest dreams! Go check her out because she is incredibly talented at what she does and lightning fast!

Next, I received an email last night from the Meal Makeover Moms that my flourless chocolate cake recipe won their award!

WOW! [Jen does the happy dance] Try the recipe--even if the whole beans-in-the-cake part sounds gross, now you have an unbiased third party telling you that this recipe really is yummy.

We Redesigned ...AGAIN

I hope you like it as much as I do. I redesigned mostly to add in more columns so I can have a more organized blog and be able to feature more information. I'd love to know what you think of it...

Publicity....Fame....Fourtune?

Ok maybe the paparazzi aren't going to start chasing me down the narrow streets of Syracuse but I am this week's guest blogger in the Family Life section of Syracuse.com . And writer Gina Chen *likes me*--she thinks I'm funny (who knew?)

So Im going to go don a pair of shady sunglasses and big hat to hide myself from all of my fans and you can check out my guest blog.

Slight Redesign

I had been itching to redesign a bit here and spent the morning playing around. The result- some monkeys ( and a bit of a cleaner layout.) Thanks to Laura for putting the bug in my head after she did a redesign on her blog and to Lindsey for further fueling my blog redesign obsession by letting me help her tweek her new blog.

Modern Family

What is a modern family? Is it the typical nuclear family? Is it the single parent? What about someone like me who is homeschooling? Am I a modern parent? The truth is...we ALL are.

I recently found a really cool website that offers a lot of good and interesting information for parents. Modern Family has many articles and resources that can be useful for a wide variety of parents. I loved their tutorial on How To Make Play Dough. And I was also a big fan of the article that detailed 8 ways to have fun for ... FREE!!
Their site is worth checking out for parenting advice and information. So for anyone considering themselves part of a Modern Family, go check out their site. You'll be glad you did.
Modern family

A Sunday Post to Honor (or make fun of) You, Our Readers

One of Michael's favorite things to do is to log on to SiteMeter and see who's been reading our blog. Its fun because they provide a world map and dot the places your readers live in. He loves to hear the various countries and states all over that have found our humble little blog. Its fun , and a little creepy too. Because--wow--there are alot of you out there reading about us. I mean hey- I knew we were interesting ... but not that interesting!

Another fun little feature of SiteMeter shows me how you found us. Did you link in from Twitter, Facebook, my homeschooling group? Did another blog send you my way? Or did a Google Search light the path to our blog. The Google searches usually end up being the most "unique" visitors out there. Here are the top 5 Google search terms that people actually typed in and tried finding a website on: "Free Monkeys", "Monkeys in a Cage", "Voyuerism and Monkeys" (what??), and "Freezing Bread Dough".

I am thankful that my little searcher looking for information on freezing bread dough found me and the information she was looking for. Its the others that I find a bit concerning-- especially the interesting little bird looking for "Monkey Voyuerism"...isnt that available --at a zoo??

So anyway, thanks for reading. The kids and I enjoy the fact that you tune in to see what we are up to. We'll keep the blogs coming and I'm sure that we'll see more interesting Google Searches that lead the weirdos--I mean readers, right here.

Blog Party 2009

Theres a Blog Party going on for all Mom bloggers..check it out! For those of you new to Blog parties--they are alot of fun with great prizes!!

There are so many cool prizes to be won at this year’s Ultimate Blog Party, but my top three picks would be:

$50 Gift Certificate to Target provided by Shoot-Me-Now
$50 Gift Certificate to Target from Agoosa
Kitchen Aid Artisan Stand Mixer from Moms Who Think

Actually, Id be happy with any prize relating to kids or somethign for Mom. Surprise me--.

So party on guys.....be sure to check it out!

Blogs, Web Design and... Paypal????

So do you know I do web design? Thats ok, I'll forgive you.
I do it freelance and love it--its kind of a qwirky hobby that I do. I was reading my Twitter and one of my former web design clients, Armory Massage was featured in a blog. In the blog, of course, is the website. And on her website is my logo. So in my fantasy world, the blog was about me and my spectacular website design.

Hmmmm....I can really twist things in my mind if I try hard enough.

Ok,but here's the reason I'm not linking to "the blog": the blogger actually has a Paypal button on his page for you to "Buy him a cup of coffee for $2" if you liked his article. It's masqueraded behind a cutesy cup of coffee on the button-distracting you from the fact that he is bumming two bucks from you. Really? Seriously? I need to know if I am kind-of-offended by this for no good reason. Am I offended by him asking me for money or because I didn't think of it? Would you pay it? Is this money IRS declared income? Does he really buy coffee with this money?

If you answer yes that you would pay it, I will be forwarding you my Paypal account information with a link titled: "If you liked my blog-help get me a massage in Vegas" however my button will skim a hefty $50 bucks from you.

Welcome Back Kotter.

Ok so maybe I’m not Mr. Kotter but I have been gone a while. In September, I caved with the pressure of blogging. I had been blogging for a while and then a few days slipped away from me. Days turned into weeks. I felt like the kid in class who forgot the book report and didn’t ask mom to write a note. So I stalled, “I’ll blog tomorrow…”. And well here we are a few months later after long and hard consideration of “Can I do this again ?”

The simple answer: I don't know. Maybe……

Facebook

Last night, sitting in front of my computer, eyes squinting fighting back sleep, the curser is flashing “Jenafer is ...” I start to type “going to take a shower” and suddenly I stop, “What the hell am I doing?” Why am I telling you I am going to take a shower and why should you care? Would I tell my neighbors? Well maybe, but not people who live up the street that I have a casual relationship with at best. But still here I am providing “Status Updates” on Facebook about my random activities and thoughts.

Here’s the creepy thing: If I found you or anyone else peering in my family room window taking notes “Jenafer is watching TV eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s”, quite frankly I call the cops, get a restraining order and hang up better window coverings. I DEFINATLY wouldn’t provide the creepy person outside my window any further information or tell him “Come back later and see what I am doing then…”

Now my kids, they are just plain nosy as most kids are. One of their favorite activities is reporting what they deem to be ‘important’ information to me about our neighbors. It usually takes place near a window, which is foggy with steam from the close proximity of my kids face to the glass and sounds something like this: “Mom…Mom...Jason just got home from work.” “Mom, Matt is barbequing”, “Mom Chris is in her garage and I think she is going to get the mail”, “Mom there is someone at Tracey’s house”. I usually then go into my standard speech about privacy, not spying on people, you know, the stand issue Mom type speech. And then I walk away, sit at my computer and read about what all of you are doing in your homes….
I often imagine putting a large sign on my front lawn in front of my house “Jenafer is doing laundry”, “Jenafer is tired”. What would my neighbors think? I’m pretty sure I’d start being referred to as the ‘crazy lady in the blue house’. But then, how many of those critics would then go on to Facebook to see what other people are doing?

The biggest problem is it’s addictive. You start wondering about these people, usually people you haven’t seen in like forever but you know what they had for dinner or that they have puked 3 times in the last hour. You wonder if their stomach has settled, or just what their significant other did last night to piss them off so bad.

So I have decided that the multimillionaire behind Facebook is really just a big voyeur or an overactive peeping Tom. Not only did he want to know what we were doing but somehow he convinced us covertly to tell him and update him constantly. SO I guess, really we are all voyeurs. We all post, and we all read; for some reason we all want to know what we are all doing. And as the up to the minute status reports weren’t enough…most of us further complied with providing an additional 25 Random Things About Ourselves for no additional charge.
So here is my post and update for today; “Jenafer is raising her glass to toast the Evil Genius Behind Facebook and his ability to bring out my inner voyeur.” If you find me peering in your windows, it must mean my internet is out.