Cage Free Monkeys

Black Friday FAIL

For anyone looking to have a good laugh, may I offer up my own stupidity to brighten your day.

It was Black Friday-- 4:35 am when I dragged my tired and still shingles ridden self out of bed for my annual adventure among the other Black Friday psychos shoppers. It was 34 degrees, a steady rain mixed with ice and I deluded myself as I drove to Target that I would be one of the early people in line, especially due to the weather. After all, this is Syracuse not downstate or Long Island where all of my previous Black Fridays have taken place.

It really shouldn't have been so shocking when I approached the Target parking lot to see that the line didn't extend to the end of the building but that it in fact wrapped around the back which is where I took my place at 4:45-- without an umbrella. That should have been my tip off that my morning wasn't really going to go as planned.

So soaking wet and cold I entered the building grabbed my cart and weaved through the madness to get to the toy department. Chaos ensued but I remained somewhat cheery and got my special sale items and made my way to the back of the store (not the front) to enter a check out lane. Ok, still not so bad. I am a trooper. I am a Black Friday hard core veteran- I can handle an hour long wait to check out. I grab a Pepsi off the shelf and begin to drink it as I wait and wait and wait.

Finally at 6:30 I am next in line for check out. I load my door buster specials onto the belt. Take another swig of Pepsi, and reach in my purse for my wallet. Then I reach in again....and again. My purse is so overloaded with crap I can't seem to get my hands to settle on my wallet. Huh. Maybe I should pull some junk out. Maybe I should hold it up to the light.

The woman in front of me is almost done with her checkout. I keep reaching for my wallet laughing how I can't seem to grab it--almost like it ISN"T in there. Almost like it fell out of my purse when I threw it in the car this morning and it toppled off the seat. Huh....funny..... my heart starts to race....

I finally must concede that it is NOT in fact in there, as I pull out 2 loose dollar bills. The cashier greets me and reaches to ring my items and I start to turn bright red. I hear the words escape my lips and think this really can't be happening "Um, can you just ring up this Pepsi? I don't have my wallet." My hand offers my 2 crumpled dollar bills. She thinks I am kidding and then suddenly realizes that I am so not kidding. I start laughing -- possibly a prelude to the fact that I am about to have a nervous break down due to the fact that I woke up at 4:30, stood in the rain, and waited for 2 hours to buy -- A Pepsi. Here it is, the epic Black Friday fail.

Now if the story ended here, I'd be blogging from a padded room somewhere, rocking back and forth, and talking to myself. But thankfully the cashier took pity on me, perhaps in an effort to save her own life, and told me to go out to my car and find my wallet and come right back to her. I ran probably 1/2 a mile to find my car in the darkness and there was mister wallet sitting right on the floor. I approached the cashier completely expecting the person in line who I was now essentially cutting to kill me, and quite frankly had I been on Long Island that may have happened; but not here. She smiled and said "Oh go ahead dear-- what a crazy morning." Seriously? This woman and the cashier are pretty much responsible for whatever sanity I have left after this fail of mine.

On today's to-do list? Buy a purse that zippers shut.